Skulduggery Pleasant: Sexual Adventures
by RiverPleasant
Summary: A series of M-rated oneshots. All REALLY weird pairings. ENJOY. WARNING: THIS IS M-RATED FOR A REASON. Hints of rape, all chapters will be lemons.


Okay, I was reading some FF last night and though I would love to do some really weird and absolutely horrible pairings so I decided to make this story. It's going to be a collection of M-rated oneshots between really terrible pairs. The first...Skulduggery and Eliza Scorn. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD. **This is SERIOUSLY M-rated.** All these stories will be. But if you like this sort of thing enjoy.

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Skulduggery woke up groaning. His head pounded and chest heaved with every breath he took. He tried to move his hands but they were tied together and every time he tried to move them there was a sharp pain. He felt warm liquid trickle down the side of his face into his right eye and mouth. He looked down to find that his legs were also tied. And he was completely naked. He groaned and tried to shuffle onto his side but failed. The door swung open and there stood Eliza Scorn. She was wearing skin tight leather trousers and low cut black bikini top. Her piercing blue eyes found him and she walked over, her hips swaying as she walked and Skulduggery found himself staring. Despite her lush curves she was still quite a young sorcerer and the enemy. But even that didn't stop Skulduggery's new body reacting to her in a new way. He looked down and blushed.

"Um. Well this is embarrassing."

Eliza's red lips broke into a dazzling smile. She hunkered down next to him, making sure she pushed gently on his length as she lowered herself. Skulduggery tried to stifle the moan that threatened to escape his lips. Eliza smiled again and leaned forward, gently pressing her red lips onto his. Skulduggery jumped and made to pull away but he found that he couldn't.

There was a rattle and his handcuffs quickly fell from his wrists. He took this opportunity to bury one hand in her thick hair and wrap his other arm around her slender waist. He pulled her on top of him and she started to smile meaningfully. She adjusted her position so that she was directly above his thick rod. Already she could feel herself reacting to him. She could feel the heat that was spreading through her crotch. She suddenly pulled away from him and started to trail her kisses down to his neck then chest then belly. When she finally reached her destination Eliza wasted no time in wrapping her hand around his thick cock. Skulduggery's head snapped back and a loud moan echoed around the room. She smiled again then wrapped her red lips around his swollen head.

"I like this." She said. Her tone low and husky. "It's big and long."

Skulduggery moaned again. "It's going to get even bigger if you keep this up."

Eliza grinned at the thought. She took his head in her mouth and swirled her tongue around the tip before releasing him and kissing it again. She then managed to take almost all of him before having to pull back. Her head was soon bobbing on his huge cock. Skulduggery gripped her hair in one hand and began to slowly fuck her mouth. He could feel his dick hitting the back of her throat and making her gag. He moaned loudly and began cursing. As she moved faster and he fucked her mouth harder Eliza could feel the detective's balls begin to tighten. She took all of him again but this time she found she couldn't pull back. Skulduggery was holding her there. He held her for a few more minutes before continuing to fuck her mouth again.

"Oh my god, Eliza." He moaned and cursed at the top of his lungs before shooting his load into the back of her throat. Eliza could feel his juices running down the back of her throat.

This was all the encouragement she needed. She stepped back and quickly took of her top and trousers so she was just stood there in her black bra and panties. She quickly expelled the bra and threw it with her other clothes and slowly began to remove her pants. She turned away from him and bent over as she did so Skulduggery got hard again pretty quickly. Then she walked back over and lay down in front of him. She spread her legs and gave Skulduggery the full view. He could see her pussy glistening with her wetness and her clit was already throbbing.

"Fuck me." She moaned. Skulduggery hesitated but quickly scrambled on top of her. He positioned himself at her entrance and pushed himself inside her. Eliza's back quickly arched and she bit at Skulduggery's neck and pulled his hair. He began thrusting slowly but then as soon as she nodded he really went for it slamming into her as fast as he could before suddenly pulling out.

"Turn around." He growled and Eliza broke out into a grin. She _loved_ it when Skulduggery got commanding. She moved onto her belly and sticks her ass into the air. Skulduggery grabbed it and quickly thrust into and began fucking her from behind. She could feel his balls slapping against her clit and the head of his cock hitting her cervix. She leaned her head back a cursed as she came. Her walls clenched around him. He gritted his teeth and carried on plunging into her. He grabbed her hair in one hand and began pulling her to meet his thrusts. She moaned and groaned loudly as he carried on abusing her pussy like this but she could tell by his growling and increased pace that her was getting close. He slammed into her again and she could feel him begin to cum. He roared at the top of him lungs as he shot his seed into her pussy. Skulduggery flopped onto her back and laughed but didn't pull out.

"I hope you're on the pill."

"Shit. Skulduggery you bastard pull out! I can't get pregnant! Skulduggery!" Eliza started to panic. She trashed underneath him and wormed but he held her firm, his thick dick still buried in her pussy. "PLEASE!" She begged him and pleaded but nothing was working. When Skulduggery seemed satisfied he finally pulled out. Thick white cum was dripping from Eliza's pussy and onto the floor. She listed up her head in time to have to watch Skulduggery Pleasant leave the dungeon.

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Hope you liked that? Kind of. I am going to write more so send me your pairing via review or PM and I shall hopefully write them into a chapter.

Bless your face. If you sneezed whilst reading this, bless you.

~RiverPleasant


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